Clean floors, or a new puppy?

It’s past my bedtime, and I have just finished mopping the floor, cleaning up a bunch of toys, and running up and down the middle of my street on this cold and windy night.

Why would I be doing those things so late? Because we got a puppy. Her name is Ella, and she’s a blondish, three pound malti-poo. I purposely bought a three month old puppy who, the ad said, was crate trained. Whatever that’s supposed to mean. I hate potty training anything! I like babies in diapers, where their bodily fluids, and other stuff, stay in the diaper and don’t get on my floors! And I like them again, after potty training is complete. Same with puppies. Whatever crate trained means, it does NOT mean that she goes to her crate every time she has to go potty. No, she goes wherever she wants to!

Cleaning up after a puppy wasn’t what I had in mind when I got this cute little fluff ball. It took my husband and I over twenty years to start thinking about a puppy, and another year to actually get one. We both wanted a small dog that could have access to the whole house, not one we had to keep behind a baby gate when we couldn‘t watch her closely. One that would bring us our slippers, and lay her head on our laps while we watched the animal channel together. A dog that would bring in the newspaper and carry it up the stairs so we could read it in bed.

Yeah sure! This little darling thinks slippers are for engaging in a game of tug of war; other tug of war options include pant legs, socks, undies, laundry, blankets, shirts, drier sheets, her piddle pads, and occasionally, a rope. And as for carrying a newspaper up the stairs, she can’t even maneuver one step with a bone in her mouth!

Much has changed since Ella moved in. Now instead of heading to the toy aisles when shopping, I browse the pet department. In two weeks she’s accumulated eight balls, two footballs, three stuffed animals, four squeaky toys, and miscellaneous other things to help entertain her. Her favorite things? A pig snout, for real?, which smells so horrible we have to keep it in a baggie when she isn’t chewing on it otherwise the house reeks of pig snout. For real? Her other favorite, a pleasant surprise because we have plenty of them, and they are free…water bottles. Instead of recycling them we should just pass them out to all the dogs in the world. They are the best entertainment ever!

We must not forget fashion. Our Ella has a wardrobe fit for a princess as her little pink blouse/jean skirt ensemble boldly states. She also has a black dress, a purple dress, a Santa outfit, a pink snow jacket with white fur trim, for all that snow we get, and a pink sweater. My husband isn’t at all thrilled with the whole dressing her up thing, so we sort of compromise. She only gets dressed up to go bye-bye. Though I think he‘d rather it be the other way around. It’s like he isn’t a man if his dog is decked out in pink.

The joy Ella has given us? Well, we’ve laughed a lot. Puppies can be quite amusing. She’s affectionate with lots of kissing and cuddling. This little girl can be as sweet and charming as any young lady. However, there’s the devil dog in her where she growls, nips, barks and runs around like a crazed animal! We’re learning techniques to control this behavior and if it doesn’t work, we’ll have to go to a puppy psychiatrist for ADHD meds. We’ve also gotten lots of exercise taking her out to pee every fifteen minutes, plus we run to tire her out and shorten her hyper moods...works for me too! And she’s cute. What more could we want? .....   Besides clean floors?