My Cluttered Life...

My life is so cluttered, and even one piece of paper can cause me more stress than a whole pile. Take my lottery ticket for example. I don’t know how to find out if it is a winner or not. You’d think the lottery website would be easier to use. Stick in the date on the ticket, and see if it’s a winner. But of course, it isn’t that easy. I‘ve tried, and tried, but it sucked, so I set the ticket aside once again.

As I gaze around the room, I see pamphlets, receipts, bookmarks, books, my camera, which I couldn’t find three hours ago when I needed it to take to my granddaughter’s chorus program. There are files, papers to go into files, empty CD cases, and tiny DVD discs for my little video camera that I can’t find. There are photos, shoes, a water bottle, pens, and scraps of paper with notes on them, some coins, a big empty baggie, and my son’s job application. And there are books piled so high the piles keep falling over.

On the dining room table there are more files, a trust, more piles of papers, plus three stuffed files that say ‘file’ on them. How can all that paper matter enough to file it? Once I file something I seldom ever see it again, so why do I even bother?

Besides my home, my heart and my mind are cluttered. It isn’t just the ‘stuff’ that’s cluttering them up. The ‘stuff’ absolutely contributes to my emotional unrest though. I too often spend extra time looking for things, too often have to purchase something because I’ve misplaced the original, and too often am stressed out, and filled with anger, guilt, bitterness, and frustration over my lack of organization.

Just as stressful though, is my lack of control over so many other things. I don’t mind helping out, but am surprised at the extra things that come with aging parents; doctor appointments, bills, prescriptions, shopping, health, memory, and transportation problems. My siblings help out, thank goodness, but there are so many things that didn’t used to be part of our schedules, and it isn’t always easy to fit them in. Plus the emotional toll it takes when parents are no longer able to handle all their own responsibilities, is often very sad and hard to accept.

Everyone has stuff; and our lives go through stages where they are overly cluttered in one way or another. It’s at those times that I have to focus on God, and pray for wisdom, guidance, and peace. Sometimes I have to pray for the ability to forgive others, and sometimes that‘s the hardest thing of all to do. Besides that, I take emotional breaks by doing something I love, by being with positive people, and by focusing on all the good in my life. Occasionally, I have to avoid certain situations, and certain people, to keep myself sane until I am emotionally strong enough to face the challenges once again.

My cluttered heart is swept clean through prayer and praises. Even after being cussed at, yelled at, and down right unappreciated and disrespected, my worn out heart, mind, and emotions finally find comfort, strength, joy, and peace in Him; my protector, my savior, my God.